My Old Man's A Dustman by LONNIE DONEGAN
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Now here?s a little story, to tell it is a must
About an unsung hero, who moves way the dust
Some people make a fortune
Others earn a mint
My old man don?t earn much
In fact he?s flippin? skint
Oh My old man?s a dustman, he wears a dustman?s hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers, and he lives in a council flat
He looks a proper nana in his great big hob nail boots
He?s got such a job to pull ?em up that he calls ?em daisy roots
Some folks give tips at Christmas, and some of them forget
So when he picks their bins up, he spills some on the step
Now one old man got nasty and to the council wrote
Next time my old man went round there he punched him up the throat
Oh My old man?s a dustman, he wears a dustman?s hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers, and he lives in a council flat
I say I say Les
Yeah?
I er, I found a police dog in my dustbin
Well how do you know it was a police dog?
He had a policeman with him
Though my old man?s a dustman he?s got a heart of gold
He got married recently, though he?s eighty six years old
We said ?ear, hang on dad, you?re gettin? past your prime
He said well when you get to my age it helps to pass the time
My old man?s a dustman, he wears a dustman?s hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers, and he lives in a council flat
I say I say I say
Must dustbin?s full of Lily?s
Well throw ?em away then
I can?t, Lily?s wearing ?em
Now one day whilst in a hurry he missed a ladys bin
He hadn?t gone but a few yards when she chased after him
What game do you think you?re playing, she cried right from the heart
You missed me am I too late?
No, jump up on the cart
Oh My old man?s a dustman, he wears a dustman?s hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers, and he lives in a council flat
I say, I say, I say
Not you again
My dustbin?s absolutely full with toad stools
How d?ya know it?s full?
Because there?s not mushroom inside
He found a Tigers head one day, nailed to a piece of wood
The Tiger looked quite miserable, but I suppose he should
Just then from out a window, a voice began to wail
Said, oi, where?s me Tiger?s head?
Four foot from he?s tail
Oh My old man?s a dustman, he wears a dustman?s hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers, and he lives in a council flat
Next time you see a dustman looking all pale and sad
Don?t kick him in the dustbin, it might be my old dad